(via keep-calm-and-be-skinny-deactiv)

I wish I could just negotiate with the spiders in my bathroom

Me: Okay well I really hate killing you guys and I know that without you the world would be overrun with insects, so I love you and all, but I kind of really need to take a shower and I don't wanna drown you or have you panic and bite me.
Spider: No probs bro I'll just go hang around in that corner until you're done. By the way, your fan is getting really dirty, my cousin's been living in there and he's not so happy with the conditions.
Me: Oh that's okay I'll have it cleaned and just you can just tell him to move out until it's done.
Spider: Sure thing, man, I'll be over here until your shower's over.

(Source: sighboybands, via xdjanali)

shavingryansprivates:

how to break a cat

(Source: shavingryansprivates, via lindsaylohanthony)

(Source: sweetandviscous, via sweetandviscous)

(Source: thecutestboysever, via thecutestboysever)

when a teacher is pregnant

people: omg congratulations i'm so happy for you!
me: omg she had sex

(Source: like-ya, via anthonycq)

sp0gooter:

I JSUT SWITCHED TABS BACK TO THIS AND I THINK I SSCREAMED HOW SCARY IS THIS

(Source: paneneleakes, via luanlegacy)

shortest horror story ever

computer: unable to connect to the internet

(via wander-l-u-s-t-ing)

(via profashionall)

macaronis:

whenever you feel ordinary just remember that youre the only one with that url

(via traceeeycoook)

(via profashionall)

(Source: awkwardlyobnoxious, via jericalulz)

NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY

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